Finding His Wings

Look, daddy a caterpillar on that tree leaf. It’s moving!”

A gray-haired man turned a hint of frustration on his face. He was in a hurry to get to the picnic but decided to stop and look at what his daughter was so excited. He saw the cocoon moving and slowly said, thereloadershouse “Well, it is moving. You don’t usually see a caterpillar trying to get out of its cocoon.”

The green-eyed brown haired little girl curiously, cautiously moved closer. Her eyes awe with wonder as she a new life struggling to be born. Ever so gently she reached over and pinched the end of the cocoon. She looked over at her dad and said, “Daddy, look I helped it!”

“That’s nice, honey. Now come on we have to get to the picnic.”

The little girl waived good by believing she had done a good deed.

As he wiggled out of the cocoon and slowly slipped into the light he didn’t feel quite right. He was wet so he spread his wings to dry them. Then looking up into the robin-egg blue sky dotted with cotton candy clouds, he took a leap to fly up and meet them. Sadly he fell, with a dull thud to the ground. His fall made the dirt poof up around him, choking him and covering his beautiful blue-gray coloring. He lay there frozen in shock and disbelief. ammunitionscenter

When he came to his senses he thought, “What happened? I should have gone up not down. This is awful. All that dust has stuck all over me. I can’t see my beautiful coloring. I don’t know what to do. I must find someone to help me.” He spread his wings which were now weighed down with the dust. He took a couple of steps with his tiny feet, fluttered his wings, toppled then stood up and did it again. He kept doing this as he slowly went down the dusty dirt road not sure where he was going. บาคาร่าออนไลน์

He came to a pecan tree and saw a gray squirrel twittering to himself.

“Hey!” he said to the squirrel, “My name is Winn, what’s your?”

The squirrel looked down from his perch surprised to see a butterfly on the ground. He said, “Hey, my name is Chipper. What are you doing on the ground? You are supposed to be flying on the breeze and landing on flowers, or something like that.”

“My wings won’t carry me up into the sky. I can’t fly! Do you know who can help me get my wings to work? Do you?” Winn said wide-eyed.

“Winn,” said the squirrel, shaking his head, “I’ve never seen a butterfly that can’t fly. I don’t know how that can be fixed. I’m afraid I can’t help you. Maybe you can find someone else along the path.” Then Chipper got lost from sight as he scampered into the thick branches of the tree to gather nuts for the winter.

Winn sighed and continued fluttering on the dirt path. In the distance he saw a large animal. As he got closer he heard a low “moooo” and realized it was a cow. She was white with brown spots. A small baby calf that looked just like her stood by her side. They were both eating the soft green grass.

“Hey, my name is Winn. What’s yours?”

The cow looked up with a mouth full of grass. “Excuse me just a minute” she said. She finished chewing. “Hey, Winn, my name is Bess and this is my son Tom. Are you a butterfly?”

“Yes, I am, but my wings won’t fly. All I can do is kind of flutter and flap and fall down.” He flapped his wings as fast as he could to show her what he meant. He made a cloud from the dust that had now dried on his body. As the dust settled you could see some of his beautiful blue-gray markings.

Bess sneezed. Tom sneezed. Winn sneezed.

“My, my,” Bess said shaking her head, “You have some beautiful markings under that dust. But I’ve never seen a butterfly that wasn’t able to get off the ground. What do you think happened?”

“When I was in my cocoon I heard this sweet voice say she was helping me. Then, I heard a strange sound and light flooded my cocoon. I came out and dried my wings. When I tried to fly I fell down to the ground. I don’t think she helped me by opening my cocoon. I think I needed to do that in order to ‘get my wings.’ I can’t fly. I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?” skywings

“Imagine that!” Bess said. “I wish I knew how to help you but I only know about cow things. I don’t know anything about butterflies. Maybe someone else on the path will know.”

Winn sighed.

“Sorry. And good luck,” he heard Bess’ voice trail off as he fluttered down the path.

What am I going to do? No one knows how to help me. I don’t’ know how to help myself. I hate myself! I hate life! I hate everything! After each statement he made Winn felt an energy grow in his body. It made him feel heavier and heavier. He fluttered to the side of the road. His little butterfly legs couldn’t carry him any more. He folded up his wings. He lay down in the emerald grass under an apple tree panting from the strain of his own heaviness.

I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t seem like any one can help me. I must be a bad butterfly for this to happen. Poor me. Poor me.

As he fell into a disturbed sleep he dreamed of big birds chasing him. A big red one swooped down from the sky. His beak was open and — Winn was jerked awake by his wings flapping wildly. As he opened his eyes he saw a brilliant red cardinal sitting on the apple tree branch right above him. He blended with the red color of the apples. Winn tried to be very still and barely breathed. He wanted to be invisible. But when the bird looked down he saw him. With a twist of his neck he said, “What are you doing down there in the grass, butterfly?”

Winn’s heart began to pound and he wanted to fly away, but he couldn’t. Then he wished he had a way to fight, but he didn’t. He lay heavy and frozen in the grass. affluentwords

“Hey, butterfly didn’t you hear me?” the bird said louder and with a sharper tone, “I asked what are you doing down there?”

Terror grew in Winn. He didn’t move. He said nothing.

The red bird opened its beak.

Winn’s mind screamed, This isn’t a dream, he is going to eat me! He closed his eyes and tightened up his whole body. He was armoring himself to be eaten. But nothing happened. Then he heard a different voice.

“Ralph, what are you looking at?”

“Loeta, hi. I’m looking at one of your kind lying there in the dirt. I’ve never seen a butterfly do that.”

“Oh, I’ve never seen one like that, either.”

Winn opened his eyes and saw a beautiful shimmering pink and orange butterfly perched on the branch next to Ralph, the cardinal.

Winn gathered up all his strength and yelled, “Look out Loeta! He’ll eat you! I just dreamed it and now it’s coming true!”

Loeta and Ralph looked at each other and started laughing.

Winn yelled at them, “What are you laughing at! Never seen a butterfly without his wings? Someone opened my cocoon before I was ready and now I’m this ugly mess. It’s not funny that no one can help me.”

Loeta gently hovered above him. She lightly landed next to his trembling body.

“We’re not laughing at you. Ralph and I are friends. He wouldn’t eat me or you. He eats berries.”

Ralph jumped from his perch on the branch and landed gracefully on the other side of Winn.

“I wouldn’t eat my friend Loeta, but”—he leaned over Winn, eyeing him up and down-“I might eat a butterfly that can’t fly.”

He paused, and then said with a grin, “Only kidding.”

“What’s a negative feedback loop?” Winn asked.

“A negative feedback loop is when one person is feeling powerless, helpless and hopeless and another person starts reacting in an unhelpful way. Then the other person reacts back because they feel misunderstood. Then the other person reacts to that and the other person reacts to that and… It’s like a big circle of negative energy that gets bigger and bigger until someone blows like a volcano!”

“Okay, okay, I get the picture.”

Winn and Ralph pouted at each other for a few seconds. Then together said, “Oh, okay.”

Winn got on Ralph’s back. With Loeta flying next to him they took off. They both argued back and forth.

“Ralph, you’re flying too fast.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Watch out for that hawk.”

“That hawk won’t hurt us. Besides, I can drop you and take off fast if it comes too close.”

“That’s a mean thing to say, Ralph.”

“Ralph, your flying too high!”

“No I’m not. The wind drafts are better up here. Besides what would you know about flying? You haven’t done any.”

“Thanks for reminding me.”

They flew over the jade green grass, the crystal blue stream and past the dark gray mountains. They flew through pink and yellow tipped clouds. Loeta looked down and breathed in the beauty under her body. She felt lighter, calmer and in control of herself. Every now and then she would shake her head at her two friends. Lost in their negative feedback loop they were missing the beauty and healing power of nature. She said nothing. She remembered one of the lessons Wise Old Nora had taught her:

When you loose your focus and your energy starts getting heavy use you breathe to lighten your load. First you take a breath out. Then, you take a deep breath in while you count to 4. Hold that breath while you count to 7. Then breathe out while you count to 8. Do that 3 times. Then focus back on the task at hand. This time it should be easier. If not then repeat the breathing again. Always do your best first, and then ask for help if it doesn’t work. Be patient and loving with yourself. Do the same with others. Learn from mistakes and don’t repeat them. Keep your heart full of love and open. Remember fear hides the spirit in a negative feedback loop and only sees a problem. Love creates a positive feedback loop that seeks finding a solution and frees the spirit.

Loeta had been practicing these ideas for over a year. Through this practice she stayed loving, peaceful and patient; most of the time. She appreciated and enjoyed her life. She had a quiet inner connection to the Great Spirit of all things. She knew that, whatever happened, she was all right. She knew the Love of the Great Spirit would always help her find her way. She still got into negative feedback loops but not as often. She liked that.

As Ralph gently landed on the grass-covered mound the sun was beginning to set. The dew had already coated the grass, making it glisten with pinks and reds and oranges reflected from the setting sun.

Winn got off Ralph’s back. His eyes were angry as he said sarcastically, “Thanks for all your wonderful negative energy.” He threw up his wings and waved them at Ralph, but they were limp and pitiful looking.

“Oh, goodness, will you two stop!” Loeta gasped. “Now let’s get going.”

The cave was cool and dark. Small lanterns guided them through the twists and turns until they came to a large open chamber.

“Nora,” Loeta said in a whisper.

A voice boomed out of the darkness, “Who is calling Nora?”

“It’s Loeta. I have brought Ralph and Winn. Winn can’t fly. His cocoon was opened before he was ready and his wings won’t work.”

They felt the rush of a cool breeze then, out of the darkness a gigantic gray-blue butterfly emerged. Her wingspan was at least 10 times that of both Loeta and Winn’s. She gracefully and gently floated down, landing in front of them. For once Ralph was beakless. He didn’t say anything.

Softly the voice said, “I am Nora, the oldest butterfly, and some say the wisest. Tell me more about what has brought you here?”

Winn cleared his throat which was trying to close off. He thought to himself I’m so scared. She may think it’s all my fault and not help me. Oh she might eat me!

“Hurhum. Miss Nora, through no fault of my own I have fallen into a terrible situation. A sweet little girl wanted to help me and opened my cocoon opened before it was time. It must have damaged me. When I came out of my cocoon I could only fall into the dirt. I tried to get help but no one would help me. I don’t’ know what to do, either.”

“If no one would help you, then how did you get here?”

“Uh, oh, well, these two brought me to you. Let me tell you too it was such an ordeal. Ralph kept saying he was going to eat me or let me fall—

Ralph interrupted, “Did not.”

Winn replied. “Did too.”

Back and forth they went until Nora bellowed, “SILENCE!

Ralph said under his breath but Nora heard, “It’s your fault.”

Nora moved slowly and powerfully toward Ralph until she was eye to eye with him. She stated, “You own part of the problem between you to keep pointing it out. Telling someone what they are doing wrong only makes them want to defend themselves so they attack back. Then you have to defend yourself so you attack back. You do not help someone heal from a terrible situation by adding to the negative feedback loop.”

He felt a strong calm presence from her that did not make him feel threatened by what she was saying. She moved away from him giving him more space.

“Ralph, let’s you think it is all right to make light and fun of someone who is having difficulty?”

“Winn, keeps you blaming yourself and others for your situation?”

“Neither of you are in your clear thinking.”

Ralph snapped, “What about Loeta?”

“Yeah,” Winn chimed in.

“Finally something they can agree upon,” Loeta said with a smile. Nora smiled too.

“Loeta seems to be the one who stays focused on the task at hand and has her energy balanced. Since her energy is balanced she is seeking solutions, not adding to the problem. She is staying in clear thinking. I’m not sure how she is doing with you two around.”

“It’s because of what you’ve taught me, Nora. I don’t always stay focused but I’m doing much better. I breathe through my anger with myself or when I blame others for my feelings. I allow my breath to calm my negative energy and focus on the positive things I can do to help myself or others in a situation. If they don’t want my help or won’t work with me, I breathe into my feelings, honor them and know I’ve done my best. Then, I go on.”

“Yes, and the more you do it, Loeta, the stronger you will become on staying focused and balanced. The more balanced your energy the more you can stay connected to the Great Spirit of All Things. That connection will lead and guide you to what is best for you, which is always Love. When you stay in negative energy you stay in Fear. These are the two main ways we experience life. Since you met Winn you have been coming from Love trying to find a solution for his situation. Ralph has gone back and forth between fear and love: Love because he came up with the idea to bring Winn here. Fear when he says mean things to Winn. My guess is he is afraid you will like Winn more than him. Winn has been terrified not knowing what to do. He is afraid he will never be all right.”


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